About Ben Patterson

Why do you do what you do the way you do it? That's what I'm after.

Trusting God daily is an issue of control

Wouldn’t it be great if God revealed everything that was ahead of us in life? The triumphs, tragedies, and everything in between, right? Then we go about our days not having concern about being caught off guard.

Well as much as you may wish for God to reveal the whole path ahead, He usually gives one stepping stone at a time.

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The need for rest

Have you ever been so popular that the amount of people requesting your attention would keep you from having time to eat? Maybe not, but that’s what happened to the disciples after returning home from their first mission in the field:

Mark 6:30-31
The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught.  Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them,  “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Doing work is important, but Jesus recognized that to do it effectively we need to be rested and renewed. Still, that’s not always easy!

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God’s Word is powerful

The knowledge of Scripture affects our attitude toward the present and the future. The more we know about what God has done in years past, the greater confidence we have about what He will do in the days ahead.

Romans 15:4
For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.

We should read the Bible to increase our trust that God’s will is best!

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Identify introvert and extrovert tendencies in your kids

It’s not often our family eats supper out, but this night had us eating the fine cuisine at Pizza Hut.

After being seated, there was no denying it: we were in for a roller coaster of an experience. Just a table away sat a group of half a dozen rowdy boys, I pegged them at a late-elementary age.

The adults supervising these boys were conveniently tucked away in their own private booth a table away. Clearly they were only interested in tending to these boys in case of an emergency. Otherwise, it was strictly “keeping an eye” protocol as far as they were concerned.

I had no clue how this group of boys would impact our family time that evening.

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6 comments to improve your praise-to-criticism ratio

The messages that tear down are plentiful but those that build up can seem few and far between. That’s why it is crucial to be generous with positive comments, especially for your kids!

Harvard Business Review research shows that the highest performing teams have an 5.6 to 1 praise-to-criticism ratio. Nearly six positive comments for each one is what it takes (and that’s for adults!).

It is critical for parents to pump out the positive words to our children. Take these suggestions from All Pro Dad and implement them into your daily routine of positive affirmation:

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Wait… … … on the Lord

Twenty-four hours a day. Seven days a week. We are constantly called to make parenting decisions on the fly. The pressure can be overwhelming. In the process, our nerves and faith are tested.

After arriving home from Poland with our four adopted children, I remember being incredibly overwhelmed. After putting the kids to bed each night I remember wanting to shoot hoops on the Little Tikes basketball hoop. That was all the mental energy I had available to me!

The thought of having four kids in elementary school one day (let alone grown up!) seemed sooooo far away! I wanted it, but I knew I had to wait. And as I’ve written before, the day when all the kids would go to elementary school seemed like it would never come.

This is where one of my favorite Psalms comes in to play:

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Yes, some kids do push the limits

Some parents are blessed with compliant children who always want to please mom and dad. Others have kids who are prone to testing the boundaries. This constant rebellion can push a parent to the brink of their patience and endurance.

As a child I constantly pushed my parents to the brink of their patience. And now Liz and I have a son who rips us to the last thread of our patience as well. With truth in her kidding, my mom says that I “deserve that child.”

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Change [Family Activity]

Take a few minutes with the family to watch this video and have a follow-up discussion together.

Video:

http://youtu.be/QN6kCMNvJ_8

Topic:
Inventing Something

Bible:
Acts 6:1-4

Discussion Starter:
The cell phone has been around for so long and is so normal in our daily life that we don’t even think about it as something someone invented. But way back in 1973 Marty Cooper did just that. Built around the simple idea that people are fundamentally mobile, he used his knowledge to create a way for people to communicate with anyone, anywhere.

While not specifically talked about, the Bible documents Jesus followers inventing lots and lots of things to deal with everyday problems. In Acts 6, the church faced a problem of having widows who weren’t getting properly cared for. So someone came up with the idea… we should have people in the church whose role is caring for widows! That may seem obvious, but someone had to actually invent that.

We share this because the church/youth group needs you to help identify things which aren’t working very well and help creatively invent solutions! With your help the church/youth group can help more and more people in new ways.

Questions:

  1. Would you rather be grounded for a month or lose cell phone privileges for a month?
  2. Have you ever lost your cell phone somewhere strange? Where?
  3. What are things that you think your church/youth group could do better?
  4. If we’re supposed to help invent stuff why does everyone talk about the church not wanting to change?

Thanks to The Youth Cartel for providing this video and content

Overcome the unresolved anger in your marriage

This post is an excerpt from the book 4 Days to a Forever Marriage by Dr. Gary and Norma Smalley.

There is no way to overcome our weaknesses without knowing our strengths. Why? Almost without exception, our weaknesses are a reflection of our strengths being pushed to an extreme.

Many family conflicts are caused by viewing another person’s strengths as weaknesses. A clear view of what naturally motivates another person can open the door to greater compassion, patience, compromise, and caring.

We may think people make us angry, but most of the time they simply reveal our own selfishness. What usually makes us angry is our lack of control over people and circumstances. Anger is inevitable in a marriage. Couples who gain skills at “keeping their spirits open” to each other and at dealing with anger in a constructive way take giant strides  toward intimacy.

There are five main reasons for conflict in the average relationship.

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3 ways to become a better spouse today

Do you remember the “I’ll do anything for you” love you felt on your wedding day? Nothing in the world was going to keep you from showing incredible love your spouse, right!?!?

And then months and years go by and inconsistency casts it’s shadow on the “I’ll do anything for you” attitude. For some reason, there’s now a scoreboard for unloading the dishwasher and you play rock, paper, scissors to see who gets the chore of letting the dog out.

If you find yourself in this funk, it’s time to break out of it and regain the passion of your “I’ll do anything for you” love. Here are three ways to begin:

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